Today is a day for stretching and I don’t mean physically. I’m talking emotional, stress related stretching. The kind of stretching you don’t even realise you’re doing until you’re stretched as far as an elastic band could possibly go and are on the verge of snapping – painfully. Today, I am that elastic band.I sit here and write this, looking at the mess which is my “living” room and it definitely looks lived in. Too lived in but whatever – we need a bigger house. I chose to eat toffee popcorn instead of tidy because I basically can’t be fucked with today anymore. On the plus side, the kitchen, bathroom and bedroom are tidy and clean.
I can hear the over-loud, bad mannered kids outside who in my opinion should be in their houses, unwinding, eating dinner and getting ready for bed – what time do kids sleep these days?
We haven’t had sex for just over 4 weeks now. There are so many reasons for this: a miscarriage 3 weeks ago Tuesday; a family emergency from last week Tuesday; stress and tiredness and just plain mental exhaustion. I only stopped bleeding in the last couple of days. My sex drive was on a million up until last week and now it has all but vanished. I should care but I don’t. I will but not now.
Today I have just been tired, short-tempered and with a feeling of needing to either scream, cry or smash something. I haven’t seen Mr.Me much which could be a good thing considering.
There’s no real purpose to this post except to say that we are all allowed to just have “one of those days” where nothing feels like it is going right and we just can’t get our mood in check. If someone tells you to cheer up or it could be worse then tell them to fuck off. Because you already know that. And tomorrow will probably be better. But today is shit. And that’s okay.
I realise I’ve nearly finished a whole bag of toffee popcorn and my teeth probably hate me right now. Fuck them too. I’m still going to eat a muffin tonight.