Surviving Narcissism; Betrayal and Insecurity

About 7 months ago, I had a secret plan. The plan was pretty much to stay with Mr.Me until my contract at work finished this year and then to throw him out when he was surplus to requirements. At one point, I wasn’t sure if I loved him or hated him or hated him because I loved him.

love-hate-heart

Among women who know they are pregnant, 1 in 6 pregnancies ends in miscarriage in the UK. In 2013, I was one of those 1 in 6 statistics.

miscarriagepost

We all have our ways of dealing with things. I cried a lot.

Mr.Me began talking to other females (to my knowledge). It could have been going on from before but this is when I found out. And I was gutted because I had never suspected it. And it wasn’t one or two. It was many. An ex, a whore, a colleague – it seemed like anyone who showed any interest he flirted with.

When I confronted him, he did what many guys did – he flipped it onto me. Continue reading

Attention Whore

Some people won’t understand this post. Some people will feel relieved that they’re not alone and some of their guilt will be lifted. I’m not trying to lift your guilt because even I feel guilty.

Adultery of the Mind. Is it a real thing?

I have been in a serious relationship for some time now (many years+), and I am happy. Things in general could be better – finances, work-life balance etc but for now, we are good enough.

There are trust issues on my behalf. Justified but maybe exaggerated also. Things I should be moving past or letting my relationship finish. He trusts me 100% to my knowledge and sometimes I think he is naive. Continue reading